thehiddenpleasureempireBeing a great lover is not about having a ton of sexual experience or a certain body type. It’s about your attitude, focus, and ability to connect with your partner. Here are some key qualities that will make you an amazing lover:
1. Prioritize your partner’s pleasure
A great lover pays close attention to their partner’s reactions and focuses on what makes them feel good. Notice the sounds, movements and facial expressions that indicate your partner is enjoying something. Adjust your technique based on their responses.
Don’t just follow a script – improvise and experiment to discover new things your partner loves. If they seem to especially enjoy when you kiss a certain spot or use a particular motion, do more of that. The goal is to create a customized experience tailored to your partner’s unique desires and sensitivities[4].
2. Take your time
While quickies have their place, in general, women need extra time and attention to become fully aroused and satisfied. A great lover knows how to build anticipation and draw out the experience[4].
Spend time kissing, caressing, and exploring each other’s bodies before moving to more intense stimulation. Savor the journey, not just the destination. The more relaxed and aroused your partner is, the more pleasure you’ll both experience.
3. Communicate openly
Talking openly about sex with your partner is a huge turn-on and helps you both get your needs met. Tell your partner what you enjoy and ask them to do the same. Give positive feedback during sex, like “I love when you touch me there” or “That feels amazing”.
Don’t be afraid to guide your partner’s hands or mouth to show them exactly how you want to be touched. The more you communicate, the more you’ll learn about each other’s bodies and desires.
4. Boost your partner’s confidence
Compliments, affection, and making your partner feel desired are key to great sex. Verbally express your attraction and admiration. Compliment specific things you love about their body and personality.
Flirt, tease, and make your partner feel like the sexiest person alive. Boost their confidence in the bedroom and they’ll be more relaxed, playful and uninhibited. Feeling desired is a huge aphrodisiac.
5. Be present and engaged
Nothing kills the mood like a partner who seems distracted or disinterested. A great lover is fully present, making eye contact, listening intently, and engaging all their senses.
Put down your phone, forget your to-do list, and immerse yourself in the experience. Savor the taste, smell, sight and feel of your partner. Respond to their movements and sounds. The more engaged you are, the more your partner will feel desired and satisfied.
6. Communicate boundaries and consent
Consent and comfort are essential for great sex. Discuss boundaries and safe words ahead of time. Check in with your partner during sex to make sure they’re still enthusiastic. Stop immediately if they seem uncomfortable or say “no”.
Mutual respect and safety are the foundation for intimacy. A great lover prioritizes their partner’s wellbeing and emotional security. With that in place, you can relax and fully enjoy each other.
The most important qualities of a great lover are enthusiasm, focus, communication and a desire to please your partner. With those, you can create an amazing sexual connection even if you’re a beginner. The rest is just practice!
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