thehiddenpleasureempirePerhaps you desire increased sexual action (or less). Considering exploring BDSM. Perhaps you simply don’t like the way your lover licks your ears or kisses your lips, or your lover’s bite is hard or rough. In either case, a slightly awkward chat is sometimes part of the approach to a more satisfying, more pleasurable sexual connection. Although talking about your sexual desires may feel uneasy at first, you’ll benefit from a more satisfying sex life.
1: Show off what you love. When you’re not sensitive, expressing your dislikes to your partner could make them feel unworthy. Recommending playing a game as a way to express your sexual fantasies is a pleasant and entertaining strategy. For instance, if you don’t like the way your partner kisses, perform your ideal kiss to them and ask if they will do the same for you. Then experiment with various kissing techniques until you find one that both of you enjoy.
2: Set aside time for romance. Many spouses will eventually encounter a difference in sex drive. People’s libido varies. This is something that can happen every day and is influenced by things like stress or overall exhaustion. Inform your partner that intimacy doesn’t always require sex and that you’re thinking about setting apart time for it. Use a phrase like: “Being close to you is something I genuinely miss. This weekend, let’s hire a babysitter so we can have some alone time. I would adore to massage and snuggle you. Take some time off to be alone.
3: Choose a Time That Is Conducive. To make the conversation feel less abrupt, you might even want to set a time for it. You won’t want to discuss the matter, for example, if you’re irritable, don’t speak about a new fantasy you want to explore in the heat of the moment, just after sex while your partner is rushing out the door for work, right before or exhausted, or late for work. Instead, pick a time when you can both relax on the couch, talk, and feel comfortable.
Start by explaining to your partner why you haven’t told them about these things and make it obvious that this won’t be a confrontational chat. Instead, acknowledge that discussing sex has occasionally felt awkward or off. They probably have experienced similar emotions and will value your efforts to provide a secure environment for vulnerability. Maintain an open, inquisitive, and nonjudgmental tone. You’re not criticizing or complaining; rather, you’re suggesting a reform for the sake of your mutual satisfaction.
4: Tell us about your sexual fantasies. If you want to test out a new kink, fetish, or sex toy, rehearse telling your spouse about it in an actual discussion. Keep it short, no more than a few sentences. “I want to tell you something,” you might say. If you tied me up while we were having sex, I think it would be incredibly hot. What do you think about the fantasy I’ve been having for a very long time in which you tie me up or love choking? After that, make it clear to your spouse that you’re open to suggestions for new sex acts they might enjoy as well.
5: Put together a “Yes/No/Maybe list.” Do you want to spice up your sexual activities a bit? Make a list that is Yes/No/Maybe. It is exactly what it says it is: a check-box list of sexual acts. Yes (I most certainly want to do this), No (I most certainly do not want to do this), or Maybe (I’m unsure if I’d love this, but I’m open to learning more and possibly attempting it). You and your lover should each complete the list individually, then compare it to discover where your desires overlap.
6: Talk About Sex More Often Make it a habit to talk about sex more frequently after you’ve gotten over the first few awkward chats so that it becomes natural and easy. Keep those sexts going, chat about sex the next morning, and share your dreams with one another, and you should start to feel more at ease.
Finally, don’t be hesitant to express your needs, interests, and desires because doing so is the cornerstone of all satisfying intimate encounters. Put communication first, and leave your nervousness outside.
Consider attending sex therapy as a couple if you attempt these suggestions and your lover and you still find it difficult to communicate. A sex therapist is qualified to establish a secure environment in which you and your lover may honestly communicate your experiences, bringing you both one step closer to having fantastic sex.
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